Monday, June 9, 2008


Thanks everyone, for the helpful suggestions for cheering myself up. I know it's a drag to read about the misery of others, but sometimes suggestions help because when you're lost in your own woes, it's hard to come up with them yourself.

Shoes? Shoes are good. I have ... ahem ... a few pairs of shoes already, but a few more can't hurt. I just bought three pairs, so rather than buying more, maybe I'll put them on (inside, there's no point in drowning them immediately) and think about going outside again someday! The rain will stop. I know it will. I'm sure it will. Really.

Ice cream? I think I'd better wait for a holiday in a warm place for ice cream. I need to warm my bones. My heating bills are astronomical right now. I'm running the furnace and a space heater. But I can have hot chocolate!

It's funny. Until I lived here, I always took summer for granted. It's hot. It's miserable. You get tornadoes. You get hurricanes. You get mosquitoes. West Nile disease. Name some nasty summer pestilence, and I was ready to deal with it. What I was not ready to deal with was not having summer. Oh my God. No summer! What kind of messed up deal is that?

Now I long for my humidity. My swamp. The sound of the mosquito truck spraying noxious chemicals in the air. Shimmering heat poisoned by the emissions of a million stalled cars. The feeling of your skin fusing to the seat of your car when you first get in. The taste of the salt and the ice when the margarita first hits your tongue after you've fought your way home through miles of sweltering traffic. Home.

I thought about this a lot this weekend as I stared out at the rain. I think the real problem is that I have to come to terms with the fact that short term solutions like walks, and shopping, and books -- all things I normally enjoy -- only have a brief effect, and once I've finished, I settle right back into feeling blue. Which means I was right in the first place; the solution to my problem has to come from within. Distraction isn't going to work.

Oh well; I really do appreciate the suggestions. It's nice to know you're out there! And now I know there is only one way to a happy ending -- I will have to write it myself. But I am good at doing that; I'm just reluctant to expend the emotional energy unless I have to. I see now that I have to. So that's OK.


Tess said...

I hear you on moving from somewhere with hot humid summers to well, apparently this year, NO SUMMER!

It was 41ºC back in Ottawa this weekend. And all of about 11ºC here. And rainy. With more rain today.
We have a fire going AGAIN this morning.

I think you're right about having to write our own happy ending!!

Yours in weather-related misery.


tamsaunt said...

Tam, to bad you can't have some of my hot, humid weather. We have had 90+ weather for a week now and it is only June. I hate to think what July and August will be like. but at least we will have a break during our trip. However, one of us is doomed to be disappointed with the weather. I would like it to be cool and you would like it to be warm.

Janna said...

I understand about distraction not working. Glad you know how to write it out. John's wishing for your weather too.