Friday, February 20, 2009

The Vasty Deep

=== Begin Whinge Here ===

Lately, I feel as if I'm walking through deep water. You know how it feels to walk through deep water. It's difficult. Sometimes a current pulls at your feet and you feel as if you'll be swept away at any moment. Waves lap at your chest and you know that a bigger one might come along and go right over the top of your head. That's how life has been recently. Something is either going to pull me down, or go over my head! Not a good feeling.

There are a number of reasons for my water-imagery. I've nearly completed my latest book, but a multiplicity of technical issues has arisen: repeated software failures, a broken printer, stuff like that. Getting to the finish line is like trudging through a swamp. There are times when I want to just throw in the towel. I won't, but I sure do want to.

The back-drop to all of this is getting used to another new place, and the constant bad news about the economy. I am so happy to be in Texas, where the sun shines while I'm dealing with these problems because, right now, that sun is one of the few saving graces of my life, and you'd better believe I am thankful for it. I'm also grateful for my DH and my animals, and many other things too numerous to mention here, and I know my little setbacks are petty. But there have been so many of them; they are really beginning to stack up!

I need to unstack them. This is one of the times when I really miss my grandmother because talking to her was always such an excellent way of gaining perspective on things. I never went to her with a big problem dump, but she was just so good at making me see the value in things, without actually spelling it out.

She's not here, so I suppose I have to find my way out of my mess all on my own. C'est la vie.


Taminator said...

How I understand this post. Sometimes I find myself mired down under *stuff* beyond my control--hence the Daily Gratitude List on my blog (my inane little effort to make myself see the good side of life). I truly understand the water imagery and it's particularly apt in your case right now. Hang in there.

Tess said...

Sorry to hear about your doldrums. I can sympathize. Every day I listen to the radio, there's more bad news.

Hope your issues right themselves soon :) And that the sun keeps shining for you!!